Your Place
Find your place. When you think about it, that three letter sentence is grammatically a very simple one, but if you put a bit of thought into it you soon realize that it carries a lot more weight than it lets on.
Finding one’s place can mean many things for many people. For me, it really means finding your comfort zone; the place you call ‘home’ inside yourself. Deep? Not so much. A person’s comfort zone can definitely vary depending on any given situation. For some, being comfortable in a situation is all about control or being the center of attention while for others, the complete opposite is the case; anonymity and the ability to blend into the background is a much more appealing proposition.
I recently found myself at a large gathering. Lots of strangers in attendance, very few acquaintances. Now, I do not consider myself anti-social in the very least, but if history has taught me anything, I find that I tend not to be of the sort that will simply walk up to a group of strangers and initiate a conversation. Instead, I found myself doing what I normally do in situations like this; I gravitated towards the small group of acquaintances there, making idle chitchat and for the most part ‘playing it socially safe’.
After the event was over and I was walking towards my car, I found myself wondering whether or not I was missing out anything by ‘playing it safe’. As the affirmative immediately popped into my head I realized that there was no question about it… Of course I was missing out from many things; making new friends, learning new things, adding more jokes to the arsenal, etc. But in truth, while there was no denying that these were only a few of the things I had probably let slip by, my comfort level was what ultimately determined my actions.
I suppose that that same comfort level, in many ways, has always shaped my behavior and actions; actions which, in turn, have truly shaped who I am or, more specifically, who I have become.
The concept of nature vs. nurture has always posed the question of how much of who we are is determined by what we learn vs. what we’ve always been. And while I was always surrounded by people of a fairly extraverted nature growing up, I have come to terms that my nature has always been more of an introverted one. Preferring solitude to company, some are quick to pull out the hermit label, but I don’t believe I would categorize myself so severely. I like being at peace with myself yet enjoy the company of others very much, I simply prefer the former when given the choice.
As the self-analytic session ended, I found myself sitting in my car, back at my original thought of what this meant in terms of ‘finding my place’. What I’ve concluded is this: No one can tell you what your place is, just like no one can tell you who you are. Your ‘place’, I’ve realized, is ultimately… You. And if we apply this logic, finding your place is ultimately finding yourself and being comfortable with that. Many refer to this as being your ‘Happy Place’ which really, is simply where you find your inner-most peace, whether that is on a physical, mental or spiritual plane. Mine just so happens to be in the more solitary realm.
In short, don’t be too hard on yourself next time you opt out of doing impromptu standup at your next social function. I am here to tell you that it’s okay to be comfortable in your own skin, without needing, or even wanting, the acknowledgment of others.
It could be that like me, your ‘place’ does not involve many others or, if it helps, you can always think of yourself as someone who is simply heeding your parents’ repetitive childhood advice of, “never talk to strangers!”
Namaste.
my place
